I have gotten myself into a financial situation that is atm unsolvable and could risk my keeping my children. Atm I am without water and soon to be without gas, both bill ranging over 1000.00. I don't know really how they got that high. I am still off anti-depressants since the bronchitis. I'm not sure they were helping that much anymore anyway, and now my problems seem to be more of the ADD type rather than depression. I have decided to try and enter a study to see if I can get a reasonable diagnosis and possibly meds to help me with concentration. Did I mention my grandmother died this last week? She was 95 and suffered from Alzheimer's disease. She was also on Zoloft for many years so I guess I am not such a pear on the apple tree after all. My family makes me feel as if I am so weird compared to them. I just can't be like them. I have no clue how to be organized. I am making strides in getting my life back together and then the house of cards I am building gets sucked down by the least little thing. (Lately they have been huge things) I stand in the ruins and am clueless of what to do.I have no idea where some necessary things are in the house and I am feeling absolutely nuts. Where to start again, .ATM I feel almost like why bother, and keep my own personal pity party. I am not coping well. I am alone this week thank god, my kids are staying at their aunts. But last night I found out my ex, who I really don't have hard feelings against, is in the hospital with pneumonia and congestive heart failure. So he can't help me with my bills either. My kids are safe with their aunt and I guess its the best place for them right now, I just need to get myself together, I just can't find the right starting point, the energy, anymore.
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