Friday, July 20, 2007

A snarling pathetic animal....

Mi Corazon Salvaje
Mi Corazon Salvaje,
originally uploaded by cicidia.
Although things are moving along as planned,I seem to be more tired and more sad as the days go by. I am waiting to see the doc next week because I am aching all over, my hormones seem to be all over the place, and I am wondering what exactly is happening to me.
I miss J more than anyone could say and my life has dwindled down to work, nintendo, computer/flickr and kitties with smatterings of conversations with J.

My mother says I don't get out enough,I don't try to go out and do new things, i don't let people get close enough to me, i don't let myself care enough about others... sigh
As much as I have tried to explain it over the years, I can't seem to make her understand that this is the nature of the beast (AS)
And the beast is always there, ready to bite, ready to consume, ready to rip into shreds whatever composure or dignity I might posses at the time, and lay to ruins any organization or energy I may have had earlier.