I have a coworker who has personal space issues. Consistently I can be working on something and she will take it from my hands asking is it hers? She also allows her messiness from her desk to spill over onto mine. if we are busy, working on patients, her work from other patients ends up on my desk. (Thus the snatching) But I have put her stuff over and over back on her desk and pointed out that she needs to keep her stuff to her desk and let mine be. Another day I had left some change and 2 dollars in a drawer in my desk that I left unlocked by accident. The next day I came in and she starts telling me I should lock my desk since I had money there. So I asked why she was even in my desk to begin with. She stated she was looking for tape. So I said ok, so go ask your lead for the keys to the supply cabinet and get some for your self, and anything else you might need. Don’t go rummaging through my desk, I don’t like it. I can’t seem to get it through to her that the end of her desk is the end of her area. I am at a loss, I like the woman but at the same time there is constant loud chattering while we work and she is constantly drawing my attention away from work I am doing to work she says she needs help with or doesn’t know how to do (although she has been working at the job for at least 15 years). I am getting frustrated and am afraid I will get angry with this person but have no clue about how to maintain a professional working relationship with her when she can’t be professional.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
What 's Mine is mine, What's yours is yours...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
My choice to be numb or not...
Sometimes I find myself struggling with the desire to want to post here, the logical thoughts floating in my head, the others just dredging the bottom. But often when I go to write, all I can hear in my voice in my head is blah blah blah blah….and more blah. Sigh (blogger’s block?)
I am not made of a set of rules though I am very rule bound.(I find myself resenting many times rules put in place to placate other people) I adapt as best I can to the environment I find myself in. I have trouble dealing with changes but I do the best I can to accommodate my abilities to the situation I find myself in. I choose to not be mean and cruel. I choose to try and treat people the best way I possibly can, in the hopes that someday, I might be treated the same. All this sounds so determined, and yet I find myself struggling everyday to try and keep a smile on my face. J is one of those things that keep me smiling even though life is rough sometimes. J is my shelter from the storm outside. The tough exterior I don’t have naturally. It’s strange depending on someone again, but it feels natural and right.
I met someone today I hadn’t seen in many years. Her daughter grew up with mine and she stated her husband had died (the year before my ex!) He was a very happy business man, very healthy. A chiropractor, and yet a heart attack took him away from his wife and 2 daughters. She told me his death was devastating to her and she made it through only with the help of medication. Funny how these things contrast to my own situation where the death of my ex was freedom from abuse and the stifling control that crippled me as a human. Because of that freedom I was able to seek help in health and let go many medications that numbed my heart and clouded my thoughts. She has remarried but is not the same happy person I remember. She told me I looked great,(funny how the difference again shows up) and that I seemed happier. She couldn’t believe it. I told her I too had remarried, and she said it must be doing you a lot of good then. I couldn’t agree more.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
D^&*nd if you do, Numb if you don't
Some days it feels like D#@# if you do, D%^& if you don’t. I am still having pain issues with my SI joint but at least I can walk now most days without too much pain. (But, sometimes!!!!) I have much hope that it will eventually diminish so I can live a semi normal life, that is, if I ever had one to begin with. Pain and stress do not make good bedfellows. I am told losing weight might help…
I started using a Cpap machine last week for my sleep apnea. Hurrah for Darth Vader. I have in my sleep taken it off without knowing it because at times with my stuffy nose I feel like choking. I am told if I lose weight, it might help…I am also told surgery might help but I can not take the month off to get it I will need yet, it takes so long to build up time, and I have to have some time off here and there for misc. reasons. Grrr
My blood sugars from my diabetes have been pretty good, and my energy levels are better than they were. I am no longer anemic. My diabetes too might go away, if I lose weight… My chiro has tried a cold laser treatment for diabetes on me and so we will see what the results are in a month or so when I go back for the A-1C.
I want I need… I want to lose weight, I need to lose weight. To lose weight I need to exercise more. To exercise more, I need to have some control over the pain levels I am dealing with now (not!) I am eating less, pushing away, not eating chocolates 3 times a week, not snacking as much (I do have to have some sort of snack to keep my blood levels but not eating as much). Not eating a carton of sour cream for my calcium source (And have been told this is better since dairy can hurt arthritis?!) I am not asking for ice cream. (Though it is still winter and the heat hasn’t shown up yet!) Sweets really aren’t my downfall. I limit pasta, I limit potatoes though they and I have a love hate relationship : I love to eat them, they love my thighs, I hate my thighs, therefore I should hate potatoes But I can’t/ don’t/ won’t… its genetic LOL
I am told I might be able to get bariatric surgery but I have to over qualify to get surgery approved. Lovely BCBS is well known for not approving this surgery that literally could save my life. I have been told this is the lazy person’s way to lose weight by someone very close to me. I am in such pain at times, it just frustrates me to tears.
My daughter has been struggling with hearing issues. It has come down to if the doctor would bill my insurance policy (which takes a large chunk out of my 2x a month check) to pay for aides for her to hear, and let me pay the difference out of pocket , she can get the aides she needs. For some reason the private ENT’s around here will not bill the insurance. Now, if I had 4000 to give them upfront, why couldn’t I just go and buy them?! And if I can’t use my expensive insurance which I must carry as a full time employee, what good is it?! Needless to say the past few weeks have been stressful and mind-numbing. We are looking into a children’s medical help service, and should know next week.
Money issues prevent so much. I want to make more money but I can’t change jobs. If I change jobs I could be moved anywhere in the County, longer traffic times, longer stress, bigger phone bills, more care wear and tear on our only vehicle… If Jeremy starts work, the same can happen; no one at home when the kids get home, one car until we can get another, and double stress. What to do?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Mind numbing machines
What can I say, pain cripples more than your body. It stops you from actually living. It sucks the joy from your life. It keeps you from fully enjoying your family, taking walks, having energy to enjoy life. It robs you of comforting sleep. It makes you nervous and irritable.
Being pain free in less than a week with only mild muscle soreness, has taken me by pleasant surprise. Total praise for the Dr.