Some days it feels like D#@# if you do, D%^& if you don’t. I am still having pain issues with my SI joint but at least I can walk now most days without too much pain. (But, sometimes!!!!) I have much hope that it will eventually diminish so I can live a semi normal life, that is, if I ever had one to begin with. Pain and stress do not make good bedfellows. I am told losing weight might help…
I started using a Cpap machine last week for my sleep apnea. Hurrah for Darth Vader. I have in my sleep taken it off without knowing it because at times with my stuffy nose I feel like choking. I am told if I lose weight, it might help…I am also told surgery might help but I can not take the month off to get it I will need yet, it takes so long to build up time, and I have to have some time off here and there for misc. reasons. Grrr
My blood sugars from my diabetes have been pretty good, and my energy levels are better than they were. I am no longer anemic. My diabetes too might go away, if I lose weight… My chiro has tried a cold laser treatment for diabetes on me and so we will see what the results are in a month or so when I go back for the A-1C.
I want I need… I want to lose weight, I need to lose weight. To lose weight I need to exercise more. To exercise more, I need to have some control over the pain levels I am dealing with now (not!) I am eating less, pushing away, not eating chocolates 3 times a week, not snacking as much (I do have to have some sort of snack to keep my blood levels but not eating as much). Not eating a carton of sour cream for my calcium source (And have been told this is better since dairy can hurt arthritis?!) I am not asking for ice cream. (Though it is still winter and the heat hasn’t shown up yet!) Sweets really aren’t my downfall. I limit pasta, I limit potatoes though they and I have a love hate relationship : I love to eat them, they love my thighs, I hate my thighs, therefore I should hate potatoes But I can’t/ don’t/ won’t… its genetic LOL
I am told I might be able to get bariatric surgery but I have to over qualify to get surgery approved. Lovely BCBS is well known for not approving this surgery that literally could save my life. I have been told this is the lazy person’s way to lose weight by someone very close to me. I am in such pain at times, it just frustrates me to tears.
My daughter has been struggling with hearing issues. It has come down to if the doctor would bill my insurance policy (which takes a large chunk out of my 2x a month check) to pay for aides for her to hear, and let me pay the difference out of pocket , she can get the aides she needs. For some reason the private ENT’s around here will not bill the insurance. Now, if I had 4000 to give them upfront, why couldn’t I just go and buy them?! And if I can’t use my expensive insurance which I must carry as a full time employee, what good is it?! Needless to say the past few weeks have been stressful and mind-numbing. We are looking into a children’s medical help service, and should know next week.
Money issues prevent so much. I want to make more money but I can’t change jobs. If I change jobs I could be moved anywhere in the County, longer traffic times, longer stress, bigger phone bills, more care wear and tear on our only vehicle… If Jeremy starts work, the same can happen; no one at home when the kids get home, one car until we can get another, and double stress. What to do?
