Aloneness has been filling my evenings lately.
There is nothing worse than coming home and no one greeting you. Fish say nothing and the cats are so independent that they choose whe to great and retreat.
I am trying so hard to keep myself together physically and mentally, but some days I just feel like coasting along with out so much effort.
Some days I need that extra effort just to get going to work. I sometimes wish i didn't have to go out at all and if I could survive without working I would. But in order to have the changes in my life I want, i must work. I have to pay the bills, I have to eat, and have to feed and clothe my family and pets.
Sometimes I just need the energy just to breathe. Working becomes a chore a lot of the time.I used to enjoy it. Now I dread it.I just want to be at home with my computer (that I have to pay the bill for) my kids, cats and fish and food. If somehow I could live and be able to bring Jeremy here without me having to work would be so great. I just don't have any answers
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