Hope Springs?

mother and son,
originally uploaded by cicidia.

Hope...
I found that I am feeling hope. Something I haven't felt in a while and I am finding it a driving force in my obsessions with my perseverations of photography, my cats, my children, and the love of my life.
Depression has been a funny thing. I suffer waves of it and it rears its ugly head at least once a day. But I am feeling inside a burning hope that I've not felt before. Perhaps its the resignation that Jeremy is waiting in England, and the final knowing that when he returns it will be to stay. Perhaps its the taking on of the two new cats and learning how to deal with them and take care of something that has been just as abused as myself. Or maybe its just an inevitable thing that comes from taking depression medication. I would like though to think its something that is starting to grow with in me.

Finding that I can survive albiet limited in my house with just the two children with me all the time, is a blessed relief. Having all three this past week has been testing on my nerves and my health.
I love my children, but the oldest who had been living with her dad has been testing my patience. That's normal for a teen, I know.
Things were so much easier when she was 8.

The new cats have been a learning experience. Soli the ragdoll is an attention lovebug, and gives kisses all around. Kimiko, however was in worse shape and it will take awhile to earn her trust (If she makes it) She was so emaciated, the groomer could not clip her matted fur for fear she'd die from the stress. She is skin and bones, and has no body fat at all. You can count every bone in her body.
I nearly cried.
But little by little there are breakthrough's and set backs with her. I am currently trying to get her to eat more, so I practically spoonfed her yesterday. We also gave her treats which she wolfed down until she could eat no more. She also like running water and has been suffering from runny eyes (A lot of extreme flat faced persians do) and I have been working on washing off and degunking her eyes as much as possible. she actually tried to play with a string yesterday and for the first time in a week, she licked and tried to clean her paws.(she'd been sleeping and hiding mostly)
So that in itself has given me some hope. And maybe the possibility exisits that things might work themselves out for me too.