Somehow I've come to realize I have a lot of social acquaintances and very few true and real friends. Asperger's makes social contact so difficult. Friendships, the real and true ones seem to be more easily maintained by distance rather than close contact... Sigh... So far one of my nearly lifelong friends has moved to Michigan and disappeared literally from the map. Another one I had for 20 years betrayed my trust and lucky me can never forget and will never forgive. I insist, no I demand truth, and will give nothing less. I need someone who is a match of me. Hopefully I've found the understanding, the person who gets it.
Relationships in the romance department before now have not fulfilled me or given me a life of understanding. I hope that will change now. Trust is such an issue with me. I have been lied to, cheated on,beaten to the point of losing a child, beaten to the point of unconsciousness,possibly poisoned, raped, widowed by alcohol poisoning,and yet I still seek to have happiness if it exists from romance and love. Lucky me, good old Asperger's gives me an open heart to trust and lovely mental skepticism just to throw in a sarcastic kick in the head...I guess I am a glutton for punishment but somethings in life seem right to do. Naivety, and child-like nature thrown in for free...
No comments:
Post a Comment