Thursday, November 29, 2007

Conflicted but happy and Numb

Autumn Love
Autumn Love,
originally uploaded by cicidia.
Life of late has been a rollercoaster of emotions that has my poor aching head spinning around.
The last three weeks I have been dealing with my father's diagnosis of cancer. (See previous post) The diagnosis process with him has been a rollercoaster on its own. At first they decided he had Pancreatic Cancer, one of the most deadly forms of cancer you can get with only a 10% survival rate. Fortunately with the biopsy came good news.(If there can be any good news about having Cancer) and he was rediagnosed with Non-Hogkins Lymphoma which has a better survival rate of 30 to 60 % at least giving him a fighting chance.

Along with all this, I called Immigration to see if Jeremy's application could be expedited as we can't know how my father will do with this. I found out two days ago that the Expedite has been approved and we should be getting Visa information within 1 week to 14 days. So at last Jeremy will be coming home.

But, the wedding plans are being changed now, as with my father's illness we will not have as a big to do as we originally thought. Probably just him and me and the judge to "hitch' us up. All that really doesn't matter though. All I want is for Jeremy to be here with me. We can celebrate later at a more appropriate time.
So I am happy that Jeremy is coming home, but at the same time I feel I am taking advantage of my da's illness just to get what I want and need. In some ways it's not fair for my da to have to go through all this and not get his wishes too..
Sigh

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