I had a horrible horrible dream....

The other night morning I a dream I could not bear. What I mean was that this night for me was absolutely horrible. Every so often despite taking vitamins, I was awakened with an excruciating leg cramp which despite pinching the nerve at my nasal fold at the top of the lip it would not let go, and when it finally did, it left my leg sore and wrecked. I fell into a fitfull sleep and then it came... the horrible nightmare.

My ex died nearly 1 year from next month. I dreamed that I was in a situation in my kitchen with my ex, at the time he had me cornered in the kitchen with a butcher knife in his hand. After so long of being kept awake and after so much bullying, I felt my spirit resign and I begged him to either stop it once and for all or kill me because I could not continue to live like that. (This really happened in real life, and was the end of our relationship) But the difference this time in the dream was that C went to stab me and my youngest child got in the way trying to defend me, and he stabbed him through the heart killing my son instantly. I remember the rest of the dream as if I were in a fog just making myself go through the steps, arraigning his funeral and picking out what I would wear and what he would wear. All I could think was that my baby was gone, I felt like I was crazy....

J says I woke up screaming, its been about 4 days and it still invades my thoughts. I had to call my son who was visiting his sister just to reassure myself.